Untamed

We might be here a little while so get comfy.. 

Last week, something crazy came over me. . I was angry, but it was a Godly anger. Rightfully so , my beautiful mother started losing her hair due to chemo. 

(Before you think this is a venting moment or a pity party πŸ‘‰ halt. This is merely build up to the crazy.) 

That was something I definitely didn’t want to happen, but it did.. I knew she was uncomfortable, and upset for having her hair taken away from her in this kind of way. 

I refused to not do something, and in the beginning of all this I told her if she happened to lose her hair, I would shave the side of my head. 

This is where the crazy comes in: 

I told my husband about her losing her hair, and that I wanted to be a woman of my word and shave the side of my head.. He asked if I was sure and after my reply of yes, he said, “ok let’s do it right now then.” 

In my adrenaline rush I was all for it, ready to stand with her even if it was just the side and not my entire head.. But, I didn’t know what I was in for.. 

We measured out the part I wanted to be shaved off, and then the clippers got plugged in. Before he took it straight to my head, he had to buzz off the length of my hair. As I seen my hair fall into the wastebasket it was as if I just seen something die.. My heart was gripped and I felt this rush of emotion. 

I had to put worship music on for the rest of it because I felt without it I would be a mess. -You’re probably laughing or wondering why it’s just a haircut it grows back..etc. well I’m the type of girl who cries after a haircut.. Because I regret cutting my long hair. So SHAVING my hair off was huge to me- 

The sound of the clippers became louder as they grazed my head, more hair dived off.. And tears began to flow. This was purely by choice of course, but for a moment I felt as if my womanhood was being compromised. Thoughts started to roll in: 

What if I hate it? 

What if my husband hates it? 

Will I still be confident with my beauty? 

Will my husband still be attracted to me? 

And in the knick of time I hear these lyrics coming from the worship in the background , “In every season, in every change you are near, in every sorrow, you are my strength you are near, a peace in the storm your voice I will follow, in weakness I rise remembering you hold my world, I’m holding on to hope, I’m holding on to grace,I’m fully letting go, I’m surrendered to your ways, the anchor for my soul, Father you will never change, I love you..” (Anchor- bethel music) 

Instantly the overwhelming “what if” questions and sad emotions were no where to be found. This surge of liberty came over me, along with insane joy. 

I felt untouchable. My Father in Heaven was with me. In that instant moment I had a vision of Jesus laughing, and it hit me.. 

This is not where my identity rests. I’m not my hair length. 

My womanhood isn’t validated by my “lovely locks” nor any other outward adornment. I am a woman because I was born that way. There is nothing that could disqualify me from being a woman nor could anything disqualify me from being beautiful. 

A huge smile took over my face as I seen the word UNTAMED. 

Untamed: not domesticated or otherwise controlled

I felt untamed, no longer confined to the borderlines of what the world calls beautiful. I felt untamed to the facts that men prefer long hair and find it to be more attractive than short hair. I felt untamed to the thoughts that doubted all this. I became FREER in that 10minutes within the beauty regime than I ever had before. It’s crazy what Papa could do in such a short amount of time.. 

Now about you.. This is about you. 

You are a WOMAN. Not because of your hair, curves or no curves, huge lips or thin lips, long lashes or short lashes, your shoe size, number of accessories you obtain, or a certain style of clothes.. You will remain a woman, a BEAUTIFUL woman without all of those. 

Hair has become everything to a woman outside of her face and body. 

Hair care product companies make billions because beautiful, shiny, bouncy and awestriking hair is advertised and worshiped. 

As well as makeup companies, and get thin quick products. 

WHY?! 

Because women of this world have been tamed to a certain mold of what beauty is. 

I mean long hair is even mentioned biblically as a need for a woman right? 

1 Corinthians 11 talks about hair and head coverings but I want to highlight verses 14 and 15 “Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but if a woman has long hair it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.” 

Now this seems like it’s completely against my whole blog, but I wanted to cut this open for those of you who feel like this is the opposing argument for this particular topic. 

Whenever we read the bible we need to put into perspective a few things: 

1. We must read the entire chapter not singled out verses because that would make lots of boo boos. The context of the verse is important.

2. What was the culture or customs of Corinth (or whichever place the book was written in) so we know backgrounds to this chapter or book. 

3. What is the author trying to get across and how does it apply today? 

So in doing these things I came to find Paul was drawing on a custom of the church in that day to illustrate that he wasn’t anyone’s covering or spiritual head. He was telling men and women of the Corinth church that they were under submission to Christ. As well as women being submissive to their husbands. He wasn’t establishing a dress code. 

It makes sense as to why we could feel all these emotions about our appearance, especially our attachment to our hair. 

But, like I mentioned earlier a woman’s identity doesn’t rest in such small things! 

I don’t mean to disregard sensitivity to such a subject since I am in the arena of my mother and her process in this, but this is the truth. 

Forget the molds. The airbrushed models. The huge butts and breasts that are plastered all over social media as some shrine of attractive femininity. The hair care product commercials with the overly shiny, long and perfectly intact hair. The makeup advertisements that push covering yourself up with your “perfect matched shade” or the glamorous long eye lashes. 

Be UNTAMED. Go against the grain. πŸ’ͺ

I’m not saying beauty products are terrible, or to go bald, or curse your hairstylist. At all. 

I believe we should be confident in who we are as a woman and whose we are. Naturally. If this season you’re naturally a blonde or brunette, 98lbs or 300lbs, you have long hair or you’re completely bald.. Find a way to be kind to you. Walk out confidence in faith if you have yet to gain it. When you are embracing the natural you and know without these said products how loved and awestriking YOU already are.. It makes it seem like it’s just another game of dress up and no longer cover up. πŸ˜‰ 

You’re already flawless. You’re MORE THAN enough. 

Don’t like your health? Change it. But don’t beat yourself up over it. 

We all have seasons. We all have moments. It’s OK. You’re not alone. 

Remember seasons change 😊 

You’re already perfect to Him.. You don’t have to strive for it. 

Although right now it may seem like Papa’s approval of you or how He sees you isn’t enough.. Continue to get closer to Him darling and soon it’ll be beyond enough. 

Papa, I am so proud that we are women in your kingdom. The final bow on top of your gift of creation, thank you that our identity rests in you. That we can be untamed and liberated in such a world that worships what they label as perfection in a woman. We’re no longer a slave to this regime. We are fierce, captivating, and victorious daughters of God. May our minds be renewed in this area Papa, and the confidence spill out everywhere we go. Even in our morning trip to the bathroom as the mirror stands there to point out our bed head and morning face, let that confidence start there. ☺️ thank you for seeing us as flawless women, for calling us to higher perspectives and places with you. You truly are the anchor of our soul, I love you. In Jesus name, amen. 

Loving you untamed gems, 

Tanisha Poni πŸ’œ 

Ps. Thank you to those who have mentioned they’re praying for my mother I appreciate your prayers! We will get through this season and she will be even more radiant than she already is. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

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3 thoughts on “Untamed”

  1. Tanisha you are awesome. This should be in a book I loved it I could have sat here and continue reading your thoughts of love and prayers making them meaningful and so loving. God Blessed you with this gift thank you for sharing it with us.

    Like

  2. Wow how fast time flies….I went to school with your mom. And when my son was 5, I signed him up for baseball in Fremont. your mom was there also with her little girl…. Could it be, are you the little girl…..

    Will be praying for your mom and your entire family. can’t wait to read more of your inspiring words

    Like

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