Try Again

Have you ever been through a pretty traumatic time?

I mean the possibilities are endless to list in examples so I won’t but I’m sure most of us have at one point or another.

Well, last week I encountered a ‘pretty traumatic’ situation with my mom- who just got cleared CANCER FREE on Friday 😁-

My mom and dad are usually cooped up in the house all day, every day due to the fact that they both have been in pain this past season..

Naturally, I decide to take my mom out on a field trip because she had finished her last round of chemo and was finally over the chemo sickness that lingers a while after its injected.

So I suggested we go to my favorite store: Marshall’sI know, the deals are amazing hence the favoritism

No big deal right? It’s just an hour tops at a retail store she will be fine, I didn’t even think about my safety being compromised cause I’m honkey dory majority of my days.

There we were, browsing around hunting for the best deals- I was looking for a bathing suit because I needed one for a trip I was taking and she was looking for some shorts.

We were near the back of the store steadily hunting when, this HUGE explosion sound went off and the entire building shook!!

My heart fell out my butt.

I quickly turned around to face the back of the store to find my mom.. to my surprise she was still pretty chill…

Me: Mom?! – semi cracky voice from slight adrenaline-

Mom: What was that? -not even flinching-

Me: I don’t know it scared the heck out of me though! 

Mom: ::Laughs:: I know.. -goes back to hunting for her shorts-

So in sight of my mom not tripping at all –that a probable earthquake just took place.. or Bane from Batman decided to set off bombs in good ol small town regions…. or T-rex happened to make a major comeback– I decided to equally not trip and allow my heart rate to slow down..

But, as I made my turn back towards the front of the store… all you-know-what broke loose..


Next thing I knew.. Employees were shouting, “EVERYONE EVACUATE THE BUILDING NOW!”

Oh, hello stronger burst of adrenaline!


My mom in true disappointed fashion: “DANG IT I JUST FOUND GOOD SHORTS!”

She started pushing her cart with her and as I mentioned to leave the dumb cart, she finally grabbed her purse and a dasani water bottle –that had yet to have been paid for 🙊-


Mind you.. my mom has not ran in awhile especially since her body has been in pain from stupid chemo.. so I was worried about her.. as I ran in front looking back every step almost..

We near the front of the store where the rest of the shoppers were stampeding the entrance when,


Now.. if you remember my theories mentioned above.. you can see I watch too many movies.. and my imagination is brilliant. So I had the serious audacity to say..


-I Know, I think that was my way of trying to make light of it or sike myself out aha.. didn’t work
I turned back around to my mother who was shouting, “WAIT! Wait..

I felt my eyes get HUGER -they’re already huge- as I seen panic try to overcome her. . panic attack central was about to make its debut.. but as she looked at me look at her in shock of what she was clearly going into.. .She snapped out of it.


She shook it off, maintained her peace and asked me for my car keys and mentioned we would be fine..

We made it outside to where there were tons of shoppers around us just looking for whatever it was, standing still like deers in headlights.. (Good ol nosey folk)

Some lady said, “Oh it’s just tires popping from it being too hot outside..”

At that moment… I felt myself loose in tension because it wasn’t a dinosaur, or the San Andreas fault line, and Bane went back to being a fictional character…

But then, I looked to my right and in front of the stores next door SMOKE took over the parking lot!

And things kicked back into overdrive as cars sped out and people were running to get into theirs.. We ran to my car-after almost getting ran over- and made it inside..

At this point my mind was like, “Hello.. PRAY.”

aha oh right, I forgot about that in the intense stampede!

I started praying as we backed out of the parking spot and started driving off to yet ANOTHER EXPLOSION!!

My heart must’ve thought this was a relay race because once it would slow down there it went again beating faster.

Driving further away, we scanned our rearview mirror and found black smoke coming from BEHIND MARSHALL’S.. the back of the store where we were no wonder why It felt so huge..

I didn’t care what it was at that point. All I could think about was we were just saved from harm, death even. It was clear by now this was a bomb, or explosion of some kind for sure.

I know we are supposed to be all fearless and brave, Jenny-usually it’s Johnny but we are girls– on the spot with quick impulses to pray..


I called my husband right after to let him know I just escaped death and to ask for prayer cause I was still shaking with adrenaline, but at the time it just felt like sheer fear.

I of course did not want to partner with fear cause it’s a lie and I didn’t want to allow it to keep me from ever going to my favorite store again..

That’s what trauma does, doesnt it?

It keeps you from wanting to be in a similar scenario again so you avoid it at all cost, to protect yourself.

Is it scary? YES.

Is it something you never want to go through again?

But, just because it was something that happened once, or twice or whatever number in your case doesn’t mean we stop functioning in that area.

If you have a friend that backstabs you, it doesn’t mean you stop having friends.

Your cat happens to die -I miss my Big Mama🐱- doesn’t mean you stay away from cats , or never get another..

You get your nerve drilled on from an inexperienced dentist.. SHOULDN’T keep you from going to the dentist ever again.. –True story happened to me, yet I really didn’t go back to the dentist for awhile aha.. I have now so yay for freedom.

Try again.

My mom -bless her brave heart- went BACK to Marshall’s THAT NIGHT because she wasn’t living without those darn shorts. Lol.

When she texted me asking if I wanted to go back to get the things I had in the basket, I thought she was kidding.

A picture of proof seconds later had my face literally like 😧

This woman had no fear. She didn’t care about what had just happened hours before, she tried again..she had a vision, a goal in mind-having a certain pair of shorts in your life is serious sometimes-

Her vision of owning those shorts helped her stand in the once epicenter of a huge fear scene.

Your vision will keep you going.

Vision for better frienships.
Vision for cuddly furry babies.
Vision for that million dollar smile. –literally about a million dollars Dentists don’t play

You have to try again.
And keep trying until you receive what you desire in life.

Obviously, we have been given the ability to approach Papa in these traumatic moments and take back our peace and reestablish where He was with us in that time because He promised to never leave us nor forsake us.. so we can breathe easier.

You are not your sole protector. Yes, you make decisions like: not choosing to cut a watermelon with your eyes closed.. but when it comes to being hidden from harm, it’s Papa who protects us.

He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge;” Psalm 91:4

y’all know I am so about the Message version so here it is:

That’s right- He rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you- under them you’re PERFECTLY SAFE.” Psalm 91:3-4

I felt a shift of mindsets with that one.. COME ON! haha

Darling, get back out there.

In the words of one of my favorite artists..🎶 “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again, you can dust it off and try again.. try again.” -Aaliyah

I believe in you.
Abba believes in you.
You should believe in you too.

walk with your head high loved one, for you can have confidence in knowing you are ‘perfectly safe.’

Papa, thank you for being our great protector. For keeping us out of harms way, sheltering us in storms of trauma, rescuing us from grips of fear. I pray we would operate in the courage and peace that has already been given to us, and to continue to try again. To walk in authority over fear. And gain more ground as we face similar situations with now more awareness of you and your peace. Thank you for loving us so well Abba, In Jesus name.. Amen.

Loving you,
Tanisha Poni 💜

Ps. It was an armor truck that exploded (the ones that pick up money from businesses) they said the engine blew up.. But, I think someone was tryin to get some monayy. 😄

2 thoughts on “Try Again”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s