Tag Archives: beauty

Untamed

We might be here a little while so get comfy.. 

Last week, something crazy came over me. . I was angry, but it was a Godly anger. Rightfully so , my beautiful mother started losing her hair due to chemo. 

(Before you think this is a venting moment or a pity party πŸ‘‰ halt. This is merely build up to the crazy.) 

That was something I definitely didn’t want to happen, but it did.. I knew she was uncomfortable, and upset for having her hair taken away from her in this kind of way. 

I refused to not do something, and in the beginning of all this I told her if she happened to lose her hair, I would shave the side of my head. 

This is where the crazy comes in: 

I told my husband about her losing her hair, and that I wanted to be a woman of my word and shave the side of my head.. He asked if I was sure and after my reply of yes, he said, “ok let’s do it right now then.” 

In my adrenaline rush I was all for it, ready to stand with her even if it was just the side and not my entire head.. But, I didn’t know what I was in for.. 

We measured out the part I wanted to be shaved off, and then the clippers got plugged in. Before he took it straight to my head, he had to buzz off the length of my hair. As I seen my hair fall into the wastebasket it was as if I just seen something die.. My heart was gripped and I felt this rush of emotion. 

I had to put worship music on for the rest of it because I felt without it I would be a mess. -You’re probably laughing or wondering why it’s just a haircut it grows back..etc. well I’m the type of girl who cries after a haircut.. Because I regret cutting my long hair. So SHAVING my hair off was huge to me- 

The sound of the clippers became louder as they grazed my head, more hair dived off.. And tears began to flow. This was purely by choice of course, but for a moment I felt as if my womanhood was being compromised. Thoughts started to roll in: 

What if I hate it? 

What if my husband hates it? 

Will I still be confident with my beauty? 

Will my husband still be attracted to me? 

And in the knick of time I hear these lyrics coming from the worship in the background , “In every season, in every change you are near, in every sorrow, you are my strength you are near, a peace in the storm your voice I will follow, in weakness I rise remembering you hold my world, I’m holding on to hope, I’m holding on to grace,I’m fully letting go, I’m surrendered to your ways, the anchor for my soul, Father you will never change, I love you..” (Anchor- bethel music) 

Instantly the overwhelming “what if” questions and sad emotions were no where to be found. This surge of liberty came over me, along with insane joy. 

I felt untouchable. My Father in Heaven was with me. In that instant moment I had a vision of Jesus laughing, and it hit me.. 

This is not where my identity rests. I’m not my hair length. 

My womanhood isn’t validated by my “lovely locks” nor any other outward adornment. I am a woman because I was born that way. There is nothing that could disqualify me from being a woman nor could anything disqualify me from being beautiful. 

A huge smile took over my face as I seen the word UNTAMED. 

Untamed: not domesticated or otherwise controlled

I felt untamed, no longer confined to the borderlines of what the world calls beautiful. I felt untamed to the facts that men prefer long hair and find it to be more attractive than short hair. I felt untamed to the thoughts that doubted all this. I became FREER in that 10minutes within the beauty regime than I ever had before. It’s crazy what Papa could do in such a short amount of time.. 

Now about you.. This is about you. 

You are a WOMAN. Not because of your hair, curves or no curves, huge lips or thin lips, long lashes or short lashes, your shoe size, number of accessories you obtain, or a certain style of clothes.. You will remain a woman, a BEAUTIFUL woman without all of those. 

Hair has become everything to a woman outside of her face and body. 

Hair care product companies make billions because beautiful, shiny, bouncy and awestriking hair is advertised and worshiped. 

As well as makeup companies, and get thin quick products. 

WHY?! 

Because women of this world have been tamed to a certain mold of what beauty is. 

I mean long hair is even mentioned biblically as a need for a woman right? 

1 Corinthians 11 talks about hair and head coverings but I want to highlight verses 14 and 15 “Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but if a woman has long hair it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering.” 

Now this seems like it’s completely against my whole blog, but I wanted to cut this open for those of you who feel like this is the opposing argument for this particular topic. 

Whenever we read the bible we need to put into perspective a few things: 

1. We must read the entire chapter not singled out verses because that would make lots of boo boos. The context of the verse is important.

2. What was the culture or customs of Corinth (or whichever place the book was written in) so we know backgrounds to this chapter or book. 

3. What is the author trying to get across and how does it apply today? 

So in doing these things I came to find Paul was drawing on a custom of the church in that day to illustrate that he wasn’t anyone’s covering or spiritual head. He was telling men and women of the Corinth church that they were under submission to Christ. As well as women being submissive to their husbands. He wasn’t establishing a dress code. 

It makes sense as to why we could feel all these emotions about our appearance, especially our attachment to our hair. 

But, like I mentioned earlier a woman’s identity doesn’t rest in such small things! 

I don’t mean to disregard sensitivity to such a subject since I am in the arena of my mother and her process in this, but this is the truth. 

Forget the molds. The airbrushed models. The huge butts and breasts that are plastered all over social media as some shrine of attractive femininity. The hair care product commercials with the overly shiny, long and perfectly intact hair. The makeup advertisements that push covering yourself up with your “perfect matched shade” or the glamorous long eye lashes. 

Be UNTAMED. Go against the grain. πŸ’ͺ

I’m not saying beauty products are terrible, or to go bald, or curse your hairstylist. At all. 

I believe we should be confident in who we are as a woman and whose we are. Naturally. If this season you’re naturally a blonde or brunette, 98lbs or 300lbs, you have long hair or you’re completely bald.. Find a way to be kind to you. Walk out confidence in faith if you have yet to gain it. When you are embracing the natural you and know without these said products how loved and awestriking YOU already are.. It makes it seem like it’s just another game of dress up and no longer cover up. πŸ˜‰ 

You’re already flawless. You’re MORE THAN enough. 

Don’t like your health? Change it. But don’t beat yourself up over it. 

We all have seasons. We all have moments. It’s OK. You’re not alone. 

Remember seasons change 😊 

You’re already perfect to Him.. You don’t have to strive for it. 

Although right now it may seem like Papa’s approval of you or how He sees you isn’t enough.. Continue to get closer to Him darling and soon it’ll be beyond enough. 

Papa, I am so proud that we are women in your kingdom. The final bow on top of your gift of creation, thank you that our identity rests in you. That we can be untamed and liberated in such a world that worships what they label as perfection in a woman. We’re no longer a slave to this regime. We are fierce, captivating, and victorious daughters of God. May our minds be renewed in this area Papa, and the confidence spill out everywhere we go. Even in our morning trip to the bathroom as the mirror stands there to point out our bed head and morning face, let that confidence start there. ☺️ thank you for seeing us as flawless women, for calling us to higher perspectives and places with you. You truly are the anchor of our soul, I love you. In Jesus name, amen. 

Loving you untamed gems, 

Tanisha Poni πŸ’œ 

Ps. Thank you to those who have mentioned they’re praying for my mother I appreciate your prayers! We will get through this season and she will be even more radiant than she already is. πŸ˜ŠπŸ’œ

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She was fashioned

Last night I did something I normally don’t do, I watched the Oscars.

As I sat there in complete awe of the cinematic industry and the creativity these people have chosen to walk out, I couldn’t help but notice how properly dressed they were. They didn’t show up in rags or comfy lounge clothes, they wore suits and ties, gowns and jewels. All embroidered with some famous designer’s name.

Then it dawned on me…
I’m embroidered with a famous designer’s name.
I was completely fashioned by Him. Piece by piece, from eye color, hair and skin type, to personality traits and everything in between. It brought me to a place of being in awe because it hit me in a way I could understand like never before.

Can you just chew on this for a bit and imagine being FASHIONED by the greatest designer in the entire universe… It’s mind blowing isn’t it?!

In Genesis 2:21-22 it reads, “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.”

Fashioned: planned and made or fashioned artistically.

She was FASHIONED..

When God created Adam it says He formed him. (Genesis 2:7)

Formed: having brought parts together or combine to create something.

(Now, before the guys who read this get offended by the obvious difference.. I just want to say you’re a beautiful creation too… In a different way. πŸ˜„)

Fashioned and formed are two completely different approaches to creating. And here we are..

Fashioned. Wow.

Back to the scene of me sitting in awe on my couch watching the oscars and thinking all this.. A question popped up: What am I wearing?

And no, I didn’t look down and sigh at the pajamas I happened to be wearing- at least they were matching though, that’s a rarity- it was more of a spiritual wardrobe question.

What are you wearing?

Being fashioned by Papa it would only be fitting to wear confidence, peace, kindness, love, joy, hope, bravery, boldness, and every other amazing article of His kingdom.

You know what we decide to put on internally(spiritually) will in turn manifest externally(physically/naturally)

We have to start getting dressed inside before we get too concerned with the out.

A woman with low self-esteem can put on revealing clothing and gain attention she craves to drive out this feeling, but at the end of her day she still struggles with a lack of confidence. One day, she could dress up in the most gorgeous gown.. But, if on the inside she isn’t dressed this way (securely confident and loving herself) her outside won’t matter. The feel good feeling would be temporary.

Don’t hear what I’m not saying.. I’m not saying a woman in a gorgeous gown or whatever clothing isn’t beautiful because externally we all are.. I’m just trying to show you the importance of dressing up inside.

When I was growing up I loved picking out my clothes to wear to school, picked em out the night before so I would be on time. I thought I was pretty well dressed. I continued to until the beginning of my sophomore year.
At this time I started to dress however I felt, some days I would feel good and dress the part, but most days I wore sweats a hoodie and sneakers.

I didn’t notice until this past year why that was.. I wasn’t confident. I didn’t have a reason to dress so beautifully because inside I didn’t have that on. Depression and insecurity were heavily draped over me. I only noticed this because my desire to dress differently came strong and I realized it was because of my inward wardrobe change.

-Now I wasn’t in sweats, a hoodie and sneakers this entire 10 years from 16 ok..I had my spurts of dresses in the midst of my go to t-shirt and jeans outfit. But it wasn’t a big thing to me about how I dressed or presented myself to the world.-

When I got married, this brand new confidence came over me. I was confident before and I was even content with myself and my wardrobe.. But it was so different this time. I became so passionate about clothes and fashion that I started reading fashion blogs and hit up Pinterest for ideas. πŸ˜‰

I don’t think it’s a coincidence to desire to be presented well. It’s in our DNA as women. We are His most beautiful creation. His love adorns us!

The other day a few of my friends mentioned the outfits I was wearing in regards to liking them and noticing my “style” and it was super awakening because people are indeed paying attention to what I’m wearing inside and out.

It’s not like I’ve become some super fashion model or anything either, I wasn’t in expensive name brand clothing or formal gowns. I just felt my insides provoke my out. And then others started to take notice.

What are you wearing?

What are you relaying to the world and yourself in the wardrobe of your heart?

Is it time for a heart makeover?

I believe as daughters of the most high king we should be presented as such. We should allow the clothing He has given us access to, to fill our inner closets. All the old overused clothes that may be there still from 5th grade… (Mmhmm, I know you know what I’m talking about) it’s time to throw them out.

His name is indeed embroidered on your very being, dress accordingly. 😊

Papa, I have no idea where we would be nor do I desire to imagine it without you. Thank you for fashioning us as women. The icing on the sweetest cake. Thank you for the clothes you have provided us spiritually. I pray we would begin to choose them daily. To start fresh if we must, but that there would be great consistency in it all. I pray our outward reflection would be manifested beauty from inside. Show us papa what it looks like for daughters to be draped in your amazing love and the confidence that comes with it. I pray for a crazier and bolder confidence to rise up in every single one of us right now and for wisdom on how to steward it well. I love you papa, thank you for life. In Jesus name, amen.

Now get out there sister and re-present His most profound creation.. YOU.

Loving you,
Tanisha Poni πŸ’œ