I realize I haven’t kept up with my consistency in writing, but to be transparent I think I have felt that I said everything I had to say and needed to wait until something else weighed on my heart to write about. I understand we are fountains of wisdom that daily grows, but I didn’t want to just keep writing because I needed to ‘perform.’ Starting this blog, I was more focused on the audience of one instead of the audience of some. And I guess recently it had become more so concerned with the audience of some. Meaning I was more so worried about what you think about me and the words I piece together than what Abba thought about me. I mean the followers had to be fulfilled right? The attention had to be constantly locked or else I would lose my “platform”….
OK so yes.. that was all thrown out my mind’s window before I even began this whole blog site, unfortunatley somewhere it slowly seeped in. BUT performing to keep an audience was never my identity to begin with nor is it something I intend to do. I am going to do us both a favor and write as consistently as I feel led to. Because you dont want a thrown together hamburger helper type of word painting and I dont want to throw words together for you just to check off the task of “writing a blog.” I want this blog to be powerful in a way that provokes you the reader to something greater than where you currently stand, to feel empowered even in tough seasons and to release everything I love about encouraging like the hope, joy, peace and love. So now that I’ve released a mouthful heres my actual post :
For my book lovers, You know when you read a book and finish the last page and your heart just becomes saddened? Because for the last amount of time you took to read it was a wonderful getaway in the lives of the characters you imagined up in your mind and the story was too amazing to even have an end??
That JUST happened to me and it happened in the best way, I felt sad but I was so full of confidence it became bittersweet.
I know you book lovers are dying to know what book I read so before I lose your focus on what this post is about … it’s Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers (you’re welcome😉)
Anyway to give you a summary it’s based on Hosea. To be specific, it completely magnified the first three chapters.
If you havent read the book of Hosea I would, but moving into this the main thing highlighted for me was the relentless love of The Father.
We (believers and those who have yet to) tend to hear that a lot.. “The Love of the Father” “Unfailing love” “Agape love”
etc. We sing songs about it like the infamous “How He Loves”
But, experiencing the awe striking simplicity and yet depth of this Love is beyond what our human minds and hearts can contain. I’m fully aware that even if we receive this Love.. it will never be fully comprehended until we meet Papa in Heaven.
I haven’t cried so hard in my life whilst reading a book. The way it was drawn out just compelled me completely. I shook.
The rawness and intentionality of His love for me became even more real than it was when I first experienced it.
This could be a spoiler for you, but it’ll still be as good when you read it promise:
The story was about a woman who has a past that she thought was too dark and ugly for her to ever even come out of; a prostitute. Her life -as you could imagine how a girl would even become a prostitute- was horrible, hopeless, dry, and without love.
Until, a man came along and persisted on showing her what love was. He came knowing what she did for a living and it didn’t bother him, He still relentlessly pursued her without ever labeling her as a promiscuous woman, jezebel, harlot, whichever. He 100% accepted her and loved her for who she was created to be. For the woman that hid shivering behind all this facade of emotionless flesh.
Just stopping right there is moving enough don’t you think?
Ponder about this for a moment.. what story does it remind you of?
I’ll keep going in case it hasn’t hit you yet.
If that weren’t what every woman wanted already – to be ‘saved’, to have a prince in shiny armor come on horseback to sweep us off our feet with the madness of love he had for us from our wretched lifestyle- He kept doing this. I mean He furiously loved her so much that when she was too uncomfortable with this new lifestyle because it seemed to good to be true and left.. He pursued her more. He fought for her. Literally.
Only to bring her HOME.
He didn’t quiver or give up because she left him, He L O V E D her.
Let’s pause.. and hit something really quick again -since I have before in my posts-
that word has become cliche.. love. People use it so loosely like when I say, “I love french fries.” -I do it too.. but I really do love fries.- honestly its become so normal to say “I love you” or to even say “Jesus loves you” “God loves you”
To a world that’s hungry for love those words have absolutely no meaning anymore.. some just think Jesus was a hippie who loved everyone in the typical human way.. but it was SO much more than that.
Step into the shoes of this prostitute for a moment.. growing up not believing in any positive thing because every negative thing you could imagine happened right before your very eyes fully ripping away any and every ounce of hope in existence. Your whole life was a bad dream, so you finally just accept that this is who you are and who you’ll always be.
Then you hear this hope message about a man who is in love with you. Furiously. He just will not stop pursuing you until you are in His arms for good.
At first of course, your un-renewed mind can’t process this truth. So you shove it all away.
And He still keeps coming.
Again. And again. And again.
Actually proving to you left and right that His love is true.
Because you’re uncomfortable with love you push Him away. Hurting Him by the curses from your very mouth and the lies you’ve been fed your entire life about this love.
STILL. . He waits patiently for you to come. What do you do?
This is the relentless pursuit some of us have had the privilege of experiencing.. the reason why we even believe in this God in the first place. LOVE.
It wasn’t rules that provoked me.
It wasn’t fear of going to hell.
It wasn’t because I desperately needed to believe in something..
I was undeniably provoked/compelled by this Love and I know I have absolutely no 100% clue about its vastness.
Those of you that havent experienced this..
Those of you that refuse to experience this..
Those of you who CURSE people who experience this..
Those of you who believe its all a myth made up to make us feel good inside.
YOU.. HE STILL LOVES YOU.
You could push His love away. You could deny His existence. You could curse Him when you feel it’s right because everything is going wrong regardless if you believed in Him to start with -because someone is to blame for your bad season-. You could spit on His very name and choose to keep running away from the one thing every human being on this earth craves.. LOVE.
AND HE WOULD STILL love you.
I bawled my eyes out because I felt this unction in my heart like I came to the realization that no matter what I did in my past, nor what I would ever do in my future makes a difference on how much I am loved by my creator.
I knew this before.. I felt it before.. It was the very reason why I stand as the woman I am today proclaiming His goodness.. and still it wrecked me all over again.
I am a living human being.. a small town girl. I have never been in the limelight, my name isn’t in headline news.. I am known by a handful of people.
But this means nothing to Him.. He has always known me. To Him I have been in the limelight of His sight. He has seen me and noticed me my whole life. I wasn’t ever wandering aimlessly trying to make sense of the world without Him there the entire time.
Life isn’t about dying.
It’s never been about making a living.
It’s never been about seeing how many disasters you could survive..
Life isn’t a game show.
You were made for LOVE.
You didn’t come out from this ‘spark’ in the sky.
You weren’t once a tadpole that turned into a monkey..
That turned into a hairless monkey.
You were CREATED. Just as every living thing on this earth was.
that’s the truth.
And no matter how far away you run from it.. It will continue to remain true… The creator of the universe will still be in love with you.
In fact, if you keep running so much you might just run into Him.
I am in no way starting a debate. You can believe what you want to believe about how you came to be.. and whether or not God is real. That’s fine.
But, I know when that day comes when you finally realize this love isn’t a myth.. That your ugliest and darkest parts of your past or even your present didn’t move or shift the way this Love seen you..
when you give up trying to label your own self because of the things you’ve done.. or being set in the way you “are”
When you stand up for yourself and tell the constant lying voice to get lost..
When you decide to open your heart and “just see” what this Love is all about..
That’s the day that will change your life forever.
Until then, this furious, relentless, never ending, faithful, deep, unfailing, enduring, steadfast, unconditional LOVE will be there waiting.
God is love. The only love powerful enough to transform you from the inside out. No other love could compare.
This song played this morning and it reminded me of the book because it tied in so well..
“Try to stop Your love and You would wage a war,
try to take the very thing You gave Your life for,
You would come running,
Tear down every wall,
all the while shouting,
“My love you’re worth it all..”
God you pursue me, with power and glory
Unstoppable Love that never ends
You’re unrelenting with passion and mercy
Unstoppable Love that never ends.
You broke into the silence and sang Your song of hope
A melody resounding in the deep of my soul
You have come running
You tore down every wall
all the while You’re shouting
“My Love you’re worth it all.”
God you pursue me with power and glory
Unstoppable Love that never ends
You’re unrelenting with passion and mercy
Unstoppable Love that never ends
No sin, no shame
No past, no pain
can separate me from your love
no height, no depth
no fear, no debt
can separate me from your love..”
Unstoppable love – Kim Walker-Smith
Be refreshed in this love my sister. Remember the first time it completely over took you, when you couldn’t even walk. All there was to do was weep at the revelation of being loved like this.
And my friends that have yet to know a Love like this.. I pray one day you will decide to accept it.
Not all love comes at a price that YOU have to pay.. This Love.. was bought for you already.
Papa, I sit here in awe of your love, it baffles me how much there is to be revealed to us about the vastness of it. I can do nothing but weep with a grateful heart that you chose me before I could ever choose you. I pray that everyone who reads this would come into a deeper revelation of your love. That it would penetrate even the sturdiest of walls encamped around their hearts. I pray Abba that you would become more real to those that don’t even believe you exist even now. And for your daughters who have already been transformed and wrecked by your love.. Get em more Papa. I pray they would be swayed deeper in the waves of your love. Most of all.. help us to love like you. With every new revelation I pray it would compel us to love at a greater capacity than what we did before. Thank you for choosing us and for never giving up, never leaving our side no matter how many times we have turned our back or gave up on you. Unstoppable love.. You are everything, In Jesus name, Amen.
P.s. I realize I have not popped in scripture to back up this truth Lord so please place it on their hearts to seek them out for theirselves 😉
Loving you beloved,
Tanisha Poni 💜