Tag Archives: we are she

Focus

This isn’t random at all, but I follow Dwayne Johnson on instagram or otherwise known as “The Rock.” Mostly because I think he’s awesome and want to meet him one day, he’s super funny, but he also has tons of inspiration in him.

One thing I associate with this dude is the word FOCUS.

He posts up workout videos of himself in the gym and he will randomly stop working out, look up and yell to the other workout peeps “FOCUS!” -it’s pretty funny you should go look him up to check it out-

All humor aside though that word in that particular tone has rung in my spirit for the past month.

I feel like theres a bunch of us who have lost their umph, stride, motivation,etc in our goals,dreams, contending for our prophetic words that have yet to come to pass and everything else that has just become blurry.

I know I have been plagued by this lackadaisical mode.. my dreams feel super distant, goals have left stains on my white board for lack of crossing off or erasing them signifying their completion, and life has just sailed into this “daily routine” of living, making a baby, cleaning house, cooking dinner, visiting family/friends, and going to church.

Now all these weeklies aren’t terrible, but sparks of creativity aren’t in there, or go getting of dreams, ideas, or even brainstorming for those ideas.

WHAT HAPPENED?!

I used to write down daily to-do lists (the only organization involved in my life lol) and would enjoy checking off the items of chores or whatever happened to be on there. It made me feel accomplished and productive. Then actions towards my short term goals (and long term) found a place on those lists so I had room for “extra curricular activities” in my day….-until I got discouraged and having way more responsibilities to even think about such things-
But who said creativity, chasing dreams, and vision casting was extra? As in, “you’ll maybe get time to do these things, but it’s highly unlikely because other things such as working a 9-5, keeping up the house, or whatever else is the majority time consumer in our day come first since they are considered PRODUCTIVE.”
Productive: adj. | pro-duc-tive | : doing or achieving a lot : working hard and getting good results : producing or able to produce somethings especially in large amounts : causing or resulting in something

Now hear what I’m not saying, before you hear what I am saying : I’m NOT saying let’s quit our responsibilities, let our hair grow wild(including underarm/leg/etc hair) make flower crowns and carelessly live on the beach – goodness that does sound fun though minus the hair part– because responsibility is apart of life. But, that doesn’t mean responsibility has to steal creativity’s spotlight.

Creativity is productive.

Working hard and getting good results could look like an artist who worked hard to imagine the picture they are painting on a canvas which is their good result. Being able to produce something in large amounts could look like finishing your first book, this blog could be causing someone to be inspired and in turn resulting into a huge creative find. . creativity is insanely productive.

Abba first showed Himself as CREATIVE in the bible to us with good purpose. WE are creative beings. Creativity flows within us whether we want to have it or not because of our creator. He could’ve came as Father, Savior, etc but He chose to be creator first. That’s CRAZY!

The entire universe was created before jobs and duties were delegated.

Now, are our bills very real? yes, unfortunately they are.
do our houses need to be tidy? unless you like to live in dirty dishes, towels, and garbage YES they do.
Do our children need our love and 24/7 attention? Yes, but then there’s always babysitters 😉
Husbands? yes. But they’re big boys who can manage themselves for your me time. 

I state these four things because women are smashed into these four like a box. . but we aren’t just created to be the gorgeous housekeeper wife mom who also works in corporate america..

WE HAVE CREATIVITY TO RELEASE!

This isn’t a feminist rant trust me I’m not chopping my hair off and going all natural.. but these are very real things that come up in our daily lives and tend to throw covers over our natural ability to create.

-for those of you who are yet to have your own home, husband, or children, I’m certain you can insert the things in your life that take priority such as school, jobs, family, etc..-
Beginning of the year always has this atmosphere of FRESH. Fresh starts and fresh planner pages..- I just got a concrete planner for the first time ever and I’m overly stoked to mark it up! get one!-

So let’s take the opportunity to catch that atmosphere and allow ourselves to FOCUS on things we are passionate or want to be passionate about. Let’s get organized and have brainstorming creativity fill our empty pockets of extra time instead of social media or tv.

Let’s allow Abba to breathe life into our long lost visions, dreams, goals, and prophetic words so we can stick those on our to-do lists along with all the other things..

Let’s MAKE TIME to be productive in creativity and stop looking at it as an extra or a bonus if we get everything else done.. (ladies who are in college homework and studying is important and vital to your graduating, but time isn’t your boss it’s actually the other way around 😉 )
2016 is going to be our best year yet. A year where old dreams have been stirred up and stepping into our realities, where goals become fun to see on paper and are pursued with highest passion, where creativity is celebrated just as much as rest and getting a paycheck, where brand new ideas come like train cars uniquely chained to the next one, and our focus/ balance on ourselves as creative beings wouldn’t be tampered with or bottled up.
Also, though this declaration is powerful, it is most powerful when partnered with. Getting around women who will champion you and walk this focus with you are important to stay afloat. Without community things wilt. We were never meant to do it all alone anyhow or else you’d be the only person on the planet!
Find your “FOCUS!” yeller and stay close to her, guaranteed you’ll both have an amazing 2016.
Shake off all the discouragement, idleness and slothfulness. Whether it was put on by you or someone speaking over you just “shake it off, shake it off” -no, really get up and shake/dance it off right now as a prophetic act.. go I’ll wait..-

 

Take a fresh breath and smile..😁
Woo girllllll we are ready to step into 2016 and take charge over our crazy schedules and dreams.

 

LET’S DO THIS!
Papa, Thank you for the ability to create. For giving us the ability to make time and not be a slave to it. For being our number one cheerleader and “Focus!” screamer, and for promises you’ve placed in your word to give us motivation in times of needing motivation. I pray that our 2016 will be better than 2015 and that we would have more room in our lives to do one of the most important things we could do, sit down and create. I pray that you would bring clarity to those who feel they aren’t creative and vision to those who lack passion in other things besides making money for they have had no time to vision cast. I pray that we would have dreams, visions and encounters with you even tonight that would propel us into our 2016 with great height! Thank you for loving us the way you do, in Jesus name Amen.
Loving you, you focused, organized, sane go getter!
Tanisha Poni💜

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Even if He doesn’t 

It’s been months I know and I have got on my own case about writing but my life has been a roller coaster since August…
On July 28th I found out one of the most life changing truths I could come upon… Seeing a positive sign on a pregnancy test.
Pregnant.

I thought my heart fell out my butt as I instantly felt this shock wave come over me. For a moment, all I could do was study this little stick in all angles to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, but yep this was real life. I’m pregnant. Life was beginning to form within my womb…

THIS IS INSANE!! 

The night before I went to the bathroom and noticed some spotting.. just when I thought my monthly cycle was upon me I heard the Lord say,

You’re pregnant.

To make sure I wasn’t just thinking I heard that, I checked my cycle calendar (highly suggest getting an app that helps you do this it does wonders for preparation in traveling and things) and sure enough I wasn’t supposed to start till three days later..

and then I heard Him say it again.. “You’re pregnant.”

those words continued to ring in my spirit the whole night.. until the morning when I was able to take a physical test.

When I found out for sure I prayed with my best friend whom came over to be with me to take this test so I wouldn’t freak out alone ha. -I wanted to surprise my husband with one of those cute pregnancy reveals pinterest had to offer.. that’s why he wasn’t the one with me-

I had read a book that had my confidence in being pregnant solid. I wasn’t so much afraid of what would go on inside me and even thinking about labor or delivery. I was more nervous about the idea that I was going to be a mom..

To be more vulnerable.. I probably have the least amount of patience with kids. I mean they’re adorable, and full of life and joy etc. But when they’re screaming about wanting a toy in the store, start babbling super loud in church service, get attitude when they’re still below 3ft…. they just don’t have that grace from me… cause I’ll get some ‘tude right back! 😂

it sounds terrible I know, but they just get on a girl’s nerves. phew I said it, I feel better.

There are two handfuls of kids that I have no problem with as they have supernaturally entered my grace for children zone-it is a small one- but other than that I just don’t volunteer for children activities to save your kids and myself 😅

But here I am about to become a mother myself in 4 months!  -currently I am 5 1/2 months-

All these things went through my mind.. and then the first trimester surprises hit.. the nauseous feeling when it came to foods, or any smell that I just couldn’t take… which brought not eating much, going through my first migraine -lasted four hours I wanted to pistol whip that migraine- and other uncomfortable physical, mental and emotional symptoms.

When I found out I was growing a human I was thinking I wouldn’t get hit with these at all, as I believed in this being a supernatural pregnancy and thinking such, to me it meant skating free from icky symptoms..

Well I didn’t skate free ha. I didn’t skate at all I felt like I had been completely muted to God for a moment.. Pain would come before this pregnancy or sickness and all I would have to do was command it to go in the name of Jesus and it went. No problem. But this time my prayers didn’t seem to do that instantaneous miracle. And going through the pain seemed like I was doing something wrong.

But I wasn’t.

I felt things I’ve never felt before during those first 3 months.. I even wanted to quit several times.. the stretching was too much for me to handle.

It was still summer, but to me I was experiencing a spiritual winter.. and I LOVE winter! But this was something that I thought I wasn’t prepared for.  During one of these moments -as they were mostly moments because I did have joy still- my husband encouraged me.. asking me what people did during winter and proceeded to say they got closer to the fire and people they love. Intimacy became tighter.. 

All I kept thinking about was the fire as I felt that’s what I was in but then the trio of famous guys came to mind and brought new perspective. .

Meshach, Shaderach, and Abendego. 

If anyone knows about fire it’s them.. in Daniel 3 their story of fire came to life for me more than it had before. . .

These guys were in Nebuchadnezzar’s kingdom and this King wanted everyone to worship this false idol he had created, but this trio wasn’t having it. They refused to bow to anything other than God.

When Nebuchadnezzar found this out he summoned for them and made them one last offer while threatening them with the burning furnace should they decline to worship his idol:
If you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?”

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king.

BUT EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you set up.” Daniel 3: 15-18

Boldly they stood their ground and then made that epic remark “even if he does not.

Even if He doesn’t. 

Their fire they faced was very real and it would cost them their life.. my “fire” I felt was just a season of 3 1/2 months.🙈

They were about to die and still said they chose God regardless if He were to save them or not. Whether He showed up in their now or not. Whether He decided to rescue them from their biggest trial. Whether or not He decided to come reveal His amazing Glory for all the world to see by saving them BEFORE the fire….

He chose to show up IN the fire.

Their story goes on to say that the king ordered the furnace to be turned up 7 times hotter than normal, it was so hot that the soldiers who were called to take the three men and throw them in the furnace were killed from the flames. Meshach, Shaderach, and Abendego were firmly tied up as they fell into the furnace. Meanwhile, Nebuchadnezzar was steadily watching the furnace and suddenly leaped to his feet and asked his council, “Weren’t there three men that were tied up and thrown into the fire?” of course they replied, “yes” and that’s when the king freaked out…

LOOK! I see FOUR men walking around in the fire unbound and unharmed, and the fourth looks like the son of the gods!

Can you imagine facing death and counting on God to rescue you before you even hit the fire and He doesn’t show up?? There would be room for doubt to creep in and strip you from your faith -but these guys chose to trust God in and out of the rescue and the follow through because to them there was no other option, they loved Him.-

In those first few months, I felt abandoned, alone, uncomfortable, and a thousand other things but in the middle of them I got to switch my perspective and allow myself to feel Abba with me in my fire. To be able to stand up and walk freely in it, unbound by negativity especially doubt, unharmed spiritually or mentally.. but I had constant help.

I couldn’t do it on my own because thoughts and emotions would arise that tried to steal this new found love and trust I had for My heavenly father, and that’s what spiritual winters look like.

They cause you to get closer to the ones and one who loves you and chooses you. To champion you in moments of weakness and to propel you into greater faith.

I could cry just remembering how I felt and how Abba showed up for me when I thought He wasn’t even aware of me. I thought if He showed up before the fire that’s when His glory would be revealed the most…

But IN the fire, and still choosing to be close to Him and with Him?

Regardless if I was experiencing things I didn’t want to, uncomfortable or not.. THAT is the real glory.

To still CHOOSE Him even if He doesn’t pop up like a genie as I thought He should..

God has a whole other view of things, and the way He chooses to reveal Himself are not just a benefit for you.. but for EVERYONE around you..

King Nebuchadnezzar was dumbfounded and excited at the same time when he seen the men walking around in the furnace, he called at once for them to be taken out and when they were He wanted to worship their God.

God showed up at the perfect time. And He ALWAYS does.

If you’re in a trial, having a spiritual winter, feel like giving up, etc..

Shake it off and strengthen your faith Girl! He is a GOOD GOOD Father, remind yourself of all He’s done… the price He paid for your life should already be enough and from that place you get to choose to worship and trust Him EVEN IF HE DOESN’T show up the way you think He should or would.. 😉

Father good goodness you continue to blow me away. The love you have for me will never be understood this side of heaven, because its too vast to comprehend but I thank you for it still. And thank you for being you and doing things the way you do them. Thank you for being in the fire experiencing all this with me. I will continue to choose you even if you don’t because I know you promised to always be with me even if I cannot see. . I love you Abba I pray that every child of yours reading this would be injected with greater faith and stability in their walk with you and revelation of just how much you’re in this life with them.. Thank you again, in Jesus name amen

Loving you ya fierce faith having beauty,
Tanisha Poni 💜

-now my heart is not to impart fear to those of you who have yet to become pregnant this is just my journey and I think it’s a beautiful experience 😉 a supernatural pregnancy doesn’t mean it’s exempt of certain physical aspects it means you could stand upon promises Abba has given and declare and proclaim His goodness over yourself and baby 😁-

Try Again

Have you ever been through a pretty traumatic time?

I mean the possibilities are endless to list in examples so I won’t but I’m sure most of us have at one point or another.

Well, last week I encountered a ‘pretty traumatic’ situation with my mom- who just got cleared CANCER FREE on Friday 😁-

My mom and dad are usually cooped up in the house all day, every day due to the fact that they both have been in pain this past season..

Naturally, I decide to take my mom out on a field trip because she had finished her last round of chemo and was finally over the chemo sickness that lingers a while after its injected.

So I suggested we go to my favorite store: Marshall’sI know, the deals are amazing hence the favoritism

No big deal right? It’s just an hour tops at a retail store she will be fine, I didn’t even think about my safety being compromised cause I’m honkey dory majority of my days.

There we were, browsing around hunting for the best deals- I was looking for a bathing suit because I needed one for a trip I was taking and she was looking for some shorts.

We were near the back of the store steadily hunting when, this HUGE explosion sound went off and the entire building shook!!

My heart fell out my butt.

I quickly turned around to face the back of the store to find my mom.. to my surprise she was still pretty chill…

Me: Mom?! – semi cracky voice from slight adrenaline-

Mom: What was that? -not even flinching-

Me: I don’t know it scared the heck out of me though! 

Mom: ::Laughs:: I know.. -goes back to hunting for her shorts-

So in sight of my mom not tripping at all –that a probable earthquake just took place.. or Bane from Batman decided to set off bombs in good ol small town regions…. or T-rex happened to make a major comeback– I decided to equally not trip and allow my heart rate to slow down..

But, as I made my turn back towards the front of the store… all you-know-what broke loose..

PEOPLE WERE RUNNING OUT!

Next thing I knew.. Employees were shouting, “EVERYONE EVACUATE THE BUILDING NOW!”
repeatedly..

Oh, hello stronger burst of adrenaline!

I shouted, “OH SHOOT MOM!! COME ON WE GOTTA GO!”

My mom in true disappointed fashion: “DANG IT I JUST FOUND GOOD SHORTS!”

She started pushing her cart with her and as I mentioned to leave the dumb cart, she finally grabbed her purse and a dasani water bottle –that had yet to have been paid for 🙊-

WE STARTED BOOKING DOWN THE ISLE..

Mind you.. my mom has not ran in awhile especially since her body has been in pain from stupid chemo.. so I was worried about her.. as I ran in front looking back every step almost..

We near the front of the store where the rest of the shoppers were stampeding the entrance when,

ANOTHER EXPLOSION goes off!!

Now.. if you remember my theories mentioned above.. you can see I watch too many movies.. and my imagination is brilliant. So I had the serious audacity to say..

WHAT IS THAT A DINOSAUR?!” 🙈

-I Know, I think that was my way of trying to make light of it or sike myself out aha.. didn’t work
I turned back around to my mother who was shouting, “WAIT! Wait..

I felt my eyes get HUGER -they’re already huge- as I seen panic try to overcome her. . panic attack central was about to make its debut.. but as she looked at me look at her in shock of what she was clearly going into.. .She snapped out of it.

PHEW.

She shook it off, maintained her peace and asked me for my car keys and mentioned we would be fine..

We made it outside to where there were tons of shoppers around us just looking for whatever it was, standing still like deers in headlights.. (Good ol nosey folk)

Some lady said, “Oh it’s just tires popping from it being too hot outside..”

At that moment… I felt myself loose in tension because it wasn’t a dinosaur, or the San Andreas fault line, and Bane went back to being a fictional character…

But then, I looked to my right and in front of the stores next door SMOKE took over the parking lot!

And things kicked back into overdrive as cars sped out and people were running to get into theirs.. We ran to my car-after almost getting ran over- and made it inside..

At this point my mind was like, “Hello.. PRAY.”

aha oh right, I forgot about that in the intense stampede!

I started praying as we backed out of the parking spot and started driving off to yet ANOTHER EXPLOSION!!

My heart must’ve thought this was a relay race because once it would slow down there it went again beating faster.

Driving further away, we scanned our rearview mirror and found black smoke coming from BEHIND MARSHALL’S.. the back of the store where we were no wonder why It felt so huge..

I didn’t care what it was at that point. All I could think about was we were just saved from harm, death even. It was clear by now this was a bomb, or explosion of some kind for sure.

I know we are supposed to be all fearless and brave, Jenny-usually it’s Johnny but we are girls– on the spot with quick impulses to pray..

But… YA GIRL WAS SCARED. Period.

I called my husband right after to let him know I just escaped death and to ask for prayer cause I was still shaking with adrenaline, but at the time it just felt like sheer fear.

I of course did not want to partner with fear cause it’s a lie and I didn’t want to allow it to keep me from ever going to my favorite store again..

That’s what trauma does, doesnt it?

It keeps you from wanting to be in a similar scenario again so you avoid it at all cost, to protect yourself.

Is it scary? YES.

Is it something you never want to go through again?
YES.

But, just because it was something that happened once, or twice or whatever number in your case doesn’t mean we stop functioning in that area.

If you have a friend that backstabs you, it doesn’t mean you stop having friends.

Your cat happens to die -I miss my Big Mama🐱- doesn’t mean you stay away from cats , or never get another..

You get your nerve drilled on from an inexperienced dentist.. SHOULDN’T keep you from going to the dentist ever again.. –True story happened to me, yet I really didn’t go back to the dentist for awhile aha.. I have now so yay for freedom.

Try again.

My mom -bless her brave heart- went BACK to Marshall’s THAT NIGHT because she wasn’t living without those darn shorts. Lol.

When she texted me asking if I wanted to go back to get the things I had in the basket, I thought she was kidding.

A picture of proof seconds later had my face literally like 😧

This woman had no fear. She didn’t care about what had just happened hours before, she tried again..she had a vision, a goal in mind-having a certain pair of shorts in your life is serious sometimes-

Her vision of owning those shorts helped her stand in the once epicenter of a huge fear scene.

Your vision will keep you going.

Vision for better frienships.
Vision for cuddly furry babies.
Vision for that million dollar smile. –literally about a million dollars Dentists don’t play

You have to try again.
And keep trying until you receive what you desire in life.

Obviously, we have been given the ability to approach Papa in these traumatic moments and take back our peace and reestablish where He was with us in that time because He promised to never leave us nor forsake us.. so we can breathe easier.

You are not your sole protector. Yes, you make decisions like: not choosing to cut a watermelon with your eyes closed.. but when it comes to being hidden from harm, it’s Papa who protects us.

He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge;” Psalm 91:4

y’all know I am so about the Message version so here it is:

That’s right- He rescues you from hidden traps, shields you from deadly hazards. His huge outstretched arms protect you- under them you’re PERFECTLY SAFE.” Psalm 91:3-4

I felt a shift of mindsets with that one.. COME ON! haha

Darling, get back out there.

In the words of one of my favorite artists..🎶 “If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off and try again, you can dust it off and try again.. try again.” -Aaliyah

I believe in you.
Abba believes in you.
You should believe in you too.

walk with your head high loved one, for you can have confidence in knowing you are ‘perfectly safe.’

Papa, thank you for being our great protector. For keeping us out of harms way, sheltering us in storms of trauma, rescuing us from grips of fear. I pray we would operate in the courage and peace that has already been given to us, and to continue to try again. To walk in authority over fear. And gain more ground as we face similar situations with now more awareness of you and your peace. Thank you for loving us so well Abba, In Jesus name.. Amen.

Loving you,
Tanisha Poni 💜

Ps. It was an armor truck that exploded (the ones that pick up money from businesses) they said the engine blew up.. But, I think someone was tryin to get some monayy. 😄

Class of 2015 

Since I have been attending Graduation parties this weekend and that.. I’ve decided to address the graduates of 2015. 

Goodness, realizing its been 9 years since I’ve graduated myself is mind boggling. 

On my graduation day I remember feeling like I finally accomplished something, I made it. 

It wasn’t just in academics.. it was way more than that. 

I pushed passed the trials that came up in my teenage life, like breakups and friendships turned sour in a matter of seconds. 

I made it through feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. – things that fueled depression and suicidal thoughts- 

I had friends.. but most days I felt alone. 

High School was not the greatest 4 years of my life, but I survived and walked that stage with a genuine smile accompanied by a peace sign. 😄✌

Whether you’re graduating high school or college.. Congratulations on pushing passed the hard times and making it through the annoying lies -that provoked negative feelings to try and weigh you down.-

You did it!

Now what?! 

Every day leading up to this one you made choices
Some, you had to sacrifice fun nights out for studying or doing homework.

Others, you chose whether or not to try new things that everyone else was doing, just to fit in.

And most, you were confused in what direction to choose. 

I don’t want to burst your bubble about this grand new adventure you’re embarking on but.. the choices don’t stop. 

You will continually have to choose what you’re going to do or not do everyday for the rest of your adult life. 

The difference between then and now is you have gained a bit more insight on your identity.. or at least I hope you did. 😉

In knowing more of your identity.. now the choices won’t consume you, you will have peace within to operate from. 

You will go back to your last victories in choosing what is most beneficial for you and lean on those for support. 

You WILL succeed. For success lies in the heart of the successor. You get to define what success looks like for you, not anyone else. 

You WILL prosper in all you do. The itch to try a different desire or passion out is most likely on your mind and I say GO FOR IT! Don’t hold back in your season of discovering what you will do for the rest of your life. – Jeremiah 29:11

You WILL stay steadfast anchored in Papa’s unfailing and perfect love. I know most people say they lost their motivation to stay in relationship with The Lord, or they got distracted, didn’t want to live a life of purity, or whichever have you whilst in college or after.. but you have nothing to fear. -Isaiah 26:3-4 , Proverbs 23:17-18 

You WILL know what to do. You’re not alone in feeling like you don’t have a clue on what to do as your next step, what to pursue, what to claim.. But, you WILL. -Psalm 27:14

You don’t have to have it all together just because you’re graduating.. you don’t have to have your next ten years planned out and strictly go by them because you wrote it down in pen.  

Remember: YOU ARE CONSTANTLY GROWING. 

You may start off with one major and graduate with something else. You might discover you don’t want to do what you studied to do, you want to do something different.. or 

You could be in your line of work- what you got a degree for- and suddenly realize it isn’t your calling. 

THIS IS OK! 

There is no timeline to get stuff right the first time. There is a running clock, but it listens to your commands not the other way around. You are in control of time. You have the ability to MAKE time. 

So my beautiful graduate, what do you want to do?


Who do you want to be? 

Regardless of paycheck amounts and financial stabilities, what would you be happy doing for the rest of your life? 

The “job” I desire most is one that has no course, it has no classes to go to unless otherwise made up by someone who has done it before and created some sort of guide but even then everyone is different. 

The “job” I long for doesn’t even get paid in money. 

Crazy right? Like what am I supposed to tell the people who graduated with me who have went off to gain doctorate degrees, or become lawyers, presidents, and whatever else? 

Once this gets mentioned a shocked subtle look appears on the askers face and is followed by an, “Oh, thats nice.” 
BUT, I am proud to say it. I feel successful, I know my life isn’t over when I accomplish one dream or two. Life still goes on. There is no arrival -until we see the pearly gates of course- I mentioned before life is a JOURNEY

There should be no comparison to ‘her ‘life, or ‘her’ life. Her success isn’t what fits your definition, it’s by her’s. It doesn’t matter what your life looks like lined up next to her’s, because it was never meant to be there in the first place. You can’t compare your middle to someone’s end or beginning it’s not fair to. 

I am definitely going off on rabbit trails, but going back to it… I love saying I am home, taking care of my house and my husband when people ask. I love to say I mentor students and when they ask how much I get paid I smile and say I volunteer-like why does $ even become relevant??- And of course I want to transform the world..😆  I love to claim these truths because no matter what I do in life it doesnt have an inch on my identity. I could do housewife work but that’s not who I AM.. 

What you do doesn’t define WHO you are. 

I am a daughter of the most high God. 

He created me to be loved. 

I am bold, brave, joyful, amazing, wise, fun, loving..etc. 
Cause that’s who He created me to be. – that’s not just my truth.. it’s yours. 

When people ask you about your career or your life on goings it’s not, “Who are you?

they ask, “WHAT do you DO?

So, in the semi-chaotic time of figuring life out and who you’re going to be.. remember you already know that.. you’re just figuring out what you’re going to DO with who you are. Where you have a desire to apply it. 

If you have absolutely no idea.. I would suggest finding out who you are (your “I Am” ’s) and whose you are.. (Papa’s) 

Ya know, I was in the same boat for those of you who still don’t know what you want to do.. all I knew at the moment was that I wanted my relationship with Papa to grow. To know more of Jesus, to be closer to Him. To witness crazy things the bible mentioned. 

But, I went to junior college because that’s the “moral” thing to do.. and I hated it (except one class). Then, I went to a bible college because it lined up with my desire; until I realized listening to a monotoned lecture on theology or just the ongoings of the bible wasn’t cutting it for me. It was bland and boring. I lost some hope in finding out what I wanted and I felt sick because I suddenly felt lost in the world.. who was I? 

I ended up going to a Jesus Culture conference, where I heard a very vital message on DREAMS and the pursuit of them. I realized I was trying to fulfill other’s dreams they had for me and not living out my own. I had a major desire to be involved in some sort of ministry school that would give me what I longed for: my identity in Jesus, hands on training to change the world in my own unique way, interaction with scripture -not just reading it and giving me word studies on each word-, I wanted Jesus more than anything. 

And it just so happens there was a perfect school for me that I knew about for a little bit of time and never thought I could pursue the fun stuff before I pursued the not so fun stuff like general education and degrees -sorry if you think that’s fun, I just didn’t like school like that hah- 

I threw out all obligations of what outlines of a graduate should look like.. and decided to pursue my dream. I applied to Kingdom Culture School of Transformation -the ministry school- without knowing how I would even pay tuition, but I knew Papa would take care of it for me because it’s His desire to see my desires manifest. -And yours 😊

KCST gave me everything I desired and looked for.. except they gave much much more. 

I realized what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, and whose I was. I no longer struggled with what path I should take, or feared my future.. My life came together within 10months of the first year program and today I am forever grateful for the decision I made to invest in myself and my dreams. 

I shared all that to say: 

You have a choice darling… to live a life YOU will love. Don’t live it for someone else.. live it for YOU. 

Sheesh..Sorry it was all over the place ha, but  I hope you had some sense of relief or hope or encouragement in your brand new season and I pray you would seek the life you have dreamed of. For you. ☺️

Papa, thank you for holding the future in your hands. Thank you that in your word it says you have plans to prosper us and not to harm us. Thank you that we can be confident in the fact that you want to best for us and will give us every resource we need to get there. I pray that the eyes of your brand new graduates would be opened to every option YOU have set before them. May they discern what it is they should say yes to and what to say no to in this season and be at peace with their decision. Thank you that it promises in your word, you direct the steps of the righteous and you delight in every detail of our lives. Help them not to forget these truths and promises on their new journey Lord and may they be drawn even closer to you. In Jesus name, Amen. 

Loving you.. you brilliant gem, 
Tanisha Poni 💜

Ps. if you desire to know more about the school of ministry I attended please feel free to check out our website ; check out student testimonies and our youtube videos, etc. It might just be the thing you’ve been looking for 😉  We are accepting applications now for the fall >>  KCST.org  

Protecting your garden 

Ya know.. If you kept a garden, the flowers and crops would become a wild animal’s gold mine right?
UNLESS..

You protected your garden by setting up a fence. Fences don’t allow pesky critters in to ruin what’s valuable to you.

Is this a DIY on how to garden properly? No.
This is about the importance of setting up proper BOUNDARIES in your relationships.
For those who don’t know what boundaries are here’s a definition:
“Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for themselves what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards him or her and how they will respond when someone steps past those limits.” -thanks google
Now that you know what a boundary is, let’s talk about the importance of having them:
A lot of people have a hard time getting the word “NO” out of their mouths. Probably because they fear what the person on the other end of that “No” would think/feel should they receive it.

I understand the whole, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings” card perfectly..
BUT hurting your own feelings in return just to satisfy someone else is unhealthy. No boundaries.

Saying “No” to someone could be viewed as saying “YES” To yourself. 

What are we doing walking around all day just saying yes or no? 

Uhh.. No.
You don’t have to verbally state the yes or no this is what it could look like:

Say someone calls you -who constantly calls when they’re in a rut- to ask for your advice once again.. has never even used your advice before but they feel better throwing up all over you because you feel “safe”.. What do you do?

No boundary:

You listen to the venting and pour out wisdom for their situation.. Only to see it not be used again.. Causing anger and resentment in giving out more advice. Which obviously robs you of your peace and makes it uneasy to keep your grace and love on for this person.

Boundary:

Letting that person know how you feel about these calls with them. That you care about your relationship and because of that you will not give them advice anymore because it becomes draining for you. In other terms, you’re protecting your connection with them.

Boundaries help you stay connected with someone. If you walk around boundary-less you are teaching people that they could walk all over your life (garden) and take what they please when it’s convenient for them. Causing you to eventually dislike them and not want them around period.

Setting boundaries isn’t SELFISH. A lot of people are afraid it will come off as if they don’t care about the person they’re setting them up with and this is UNTRUE!

You’re being self AWARE. Making sure you’re taking care of you, your alone time, your family, your marriage, etc.

People will respect you more because of your no. (obviously it would be done in love not in a rampage)

Let me tell you a little secret… You’re going to hurt people’s feelings. It’s life. You weren’t made to please everyone remember??? -reference my post “that please isn’t pretty” –
It’s not about everyone else 100% of the time.. Do you ever stop and ponder What YOU want?

Don’t hear what I’m not saying.. I’m not saying, “bah whizzers on everyone in your life just worry about yourself and what you wanna do..don’t help anyone!

I’m saying tell the truth– if you don’t want to don’t say yes!- And remember to have healthy limits in your relationships.

Everyone can’t hold the same place in your life or else it would be one crammed up garden.. There’s certain flowers or plants you can’t put close together because the roots of one plant could destroy the other from growing.

Example:

I’m married.. So if I put people in the same close knit area as my husband he would probably feel like he’s just like everyone else with no special category. And I would feel like he’s just being sensitive.. Only because I didn’t set up boundaries to protect our alone time or intimacy therefore robbing me of knowing that and him from the benefits of it.

On date nights, he is the only person I engage with. My phone isn’t constantly out having me converse with other people or going on social media binges.. My boundary on date night is to have no interruptions -unless by some EMERGENCY– I don’t answer texts right away, nor answer the phone should it ring. I have set up a fence around my connection with my husband.

Now if someone said, “hey I really need you right now can I come over your house to talk?” Whilst out on a date night I would let them know they couldn’t.. Because of being on my date night.. But, I would gladly talk to them when it is over. Saying no to them means saying yes to my husband and our connection. In turn showing him he holds a special place on my priority list no matter what else comes up or along the way. And that person knows they’re important to me but, at the moment my husband is most important.
I can feel some of you are gasping lol because you probably haven’t set up boundaries.. Trust me I am not a mean careless person. I just happen to have respect and honor for myself and my valuables. 

-Obviously this doesn’t just apply to marriage but you should catch the drift. –
How do I know if I don’t have healthy boundaries? 

Great question!

One sure way that hints at needing some fencing up is if you find your relationship with one person having the power to effect your relationship with another person: 

Example:

If I had a friend who happened to stab me in the back I would be angry, hurt, etc. If I brought that junk into my marriage and took it out on my husband.. THAT would signal not having proper emotional boundaries being set up with that friend. -not saying you can’t cry to your husband.. Lol just saying he isn’t the punching bag of your life’s issues.-

If that same situation happened I would know I had proper boundaries if I simply let my husband know what happened and to pray for me.. I wouldn’t allow it to rob my husband from experiencing me in my joyful, loving ways. -slamming things around the kitchen as you prepare dinner because of the issue with your friend is probably not what your husband wants to come home too.. Especially if he didn’t do anything wrong hah.-

Boundaries let people know what is important to you and what you are allowing them to do.

What you allow will continue to go on. 

If someone constantly steals from your wallet because the first time you said, “oh it’s ok” and the second time you pretended to not notice.. It’s on your hands. Not the thief’s.

Gasp! Tanisha it is their fault they’re the one with the klepto problem!

No sweetheart.. It’s your mistake in not being assertive enough in letting them know what’s in your possession is YOURS and no one else’s. Yea.. Sorry. 🙈

Your life won’t be all rules and regulations with these trust me.. Gardens bloom and prosper greatly to their potential with being protected well. 

Jesus had boundaries. Yes, Jesus.

He only had 12 disciples.. Out of MANY people that followed him.

Out of those 12 He only allowed 3 closest to Him.. Peter, James and John. -Mark 5:35-37 Jesus only allowed these three men with him to raise the dead.

The closest out of the 3 was John. -John 13:23 at the last supper John was at Jesus’ chest. Being the closest to Him.

As you read the gospels you see the other different boundaries Jesus demonstrates even in ministry.
So let’s take it back to you:
What areas or with whom have you not set up boundaries?

Who has access to your innermost treasures that should probably be given the upgrade of being just outside your garden limit? (They can still view the flowers just can’t touch or smell em as strong hah)

Do you find yourself fighting to say ‘no’ but end up saying ‘yes’ ?
Think about it..
If you notice you are in need of a more protected ‘garden’ .. Ya better start mapping out the boundaries girl! Make sure saying yes to someone or something else doesn’t mean saying no to yourself 😊

Papa, thank you for the ability to set up boundaries and limits within our relationships in life. Thank you that we don’t have to over explain ourselves or make excuses to simply decline an offer, invitation or “urgency” I pray the lie of being selfish in this would be cut off. That we would be self aware and taking notice in what we need and making sure we take responsibility with ourselves. Help us to protect our relationships and for those of us who have trouble getting started I pray you would give us words to speak in bringing up new boundaries. Thank you Abba for your love in Jesus name, amen.  

Loving you,

Tanisha Poni 💜
Ps. The people who really want to be in your life will respect your boundaries no matter what 😉

Keep Going

🙈 I’m so sorry! I know it’s been three weeks and a day since I’ve posted. Brazil was more busy than I thought.. and the side effect of jet lag -laziness- got me.. But! I won’t wait till next Monday to share this with you so here’s my trip in a nutshell and the story of a miracle I contended for: 

After 2 plane rides and a bus trip (about 20 hours of travel time) we made it to the city of Santos. 
-I was overly satisfied because the weather was absolutely perfect (I’m not a lover of heat and humidity so I prayed it would be breezy and not as hot 😉) 
We arrived to our house that was complete with our own cook and translator. There was a spiral staircase  leading to three rooms that we made our own majority of the trip. -each room had its own air conditioning and a full bathroom! 
 (I know Americans right? 😄) 
After settling in, we enjoyed lunch with the leaders of the church we partnered with.. And it felt like we’ve known them our whole life! Instant family bonding type of feel. (The relationships we built with them was definitely the best part of it all)
That lunch launched us into our conference we were holding in Santos.. Where we witnessed CRAZY miracles and encounters: 
We seen blind eyes open! 
Deaf ears open! 
Legs shorter than the other grew out to line up with the other! 
Cancerous lumps disappeared! 
Severe pain in backs, knees, shoulders, necks and wrists were healed! 
Even on point prophetic words that were given brought healing! 
The conference was totally insane. One service the Joy of the Lord took over and the whole church broke out in laughter for about 20mins! Just pure laughter.. -Joy is medicine to the soul,(proverbs 17:22) some got healed from just laughing that night! 
One of the nights, I met a woman who had a leg severely shorter than the other; She had to wear a platform on one side and a flat shoe on the other just to match them up! 
I wanted to pray for her because I knew what Papa could do and I’ve seen it done before.. But, never like this. Still, my faith was soaring and I HAD to see this miracle. 
I went up to her and asked her if I could pray; she said yes and I had her sit down on a chair so I could see her legs stretched out. I began to pray with a translator translating for me. After, I asked her if she felt anything going on and she said no, but she felt lots of peace. 
I wasn’t satisfied.. This woman had been walking this way for years and years and I wanted to see it stop! 
So I prayed again.. and again.. and finally I found out SHE DIDNT EVEN HAVE A HIP! 
I was praying for the wrong thing first. So, I called a brand new hip to form and she felt heat in her hip area! We praised God and went for it again.. I told her I wasn’t going to stop praying til I seen this miracle.. 
50 minutes later I found myself on the floor holding her feet in my hands crying out to God for this to take place.. Praying in heavenly language.. I even walked her around commanding that leg to line up.. But, it didn’t. 
I poured out so much in prayer, faith, hope, and love for this. -we were both literally intoxicated in His presence. It was tangibly thick in that place.. I couldn’t stand after- I was so excited to see it happen and it didn’t.. We had to leave because it was late and we were doing service again the next day so we needed to rest. 
She told me before we left that she believed it would happen and knowing she had hope pushed me out the door. In the car ride back to the house I was upset, but I still had tenacity to see this happen and was determined to pray again the next day. 
Tom – a missionary called to Brazil who was our connection to this trip- said, “I had a vision of this healing while you were praying, but it was so good and you were on a roll that I didn’t want to interrupt.. I seen her leg shoot out while she was on her bed sleeping!”  I said amen and held onto that vision. 
The next day I went for it again! Haha 
It was all I thought about.. It fully tugged my heart to see this happen. 
I prayed and prayed.. But that leg didn’t grow out. I told her about the vision Tom had and that I was still standing with her in seeing this come to life. She received and said she believed it would happen too.. We said our good nights and left. 
I prayed for her two more times after that and before I prayed for her the first of these last two times, she said she felt lots of heat in her leg while she was in her bed laying down! We got so excited and praised Papa once again for what He was doing.. But, I left Brazil seeing every other crazy miracle except this one. 
I didn’t understand why- Because, we don’t know absolutely everything-I was sad, but I knew it would happen whether it was in front of me or not. 
Not for a second was I doubting my faith or tenacity to see healing. I didn’t care about the lies that popped up in my head stating things like I wasn’t doing enough, or that there was too much doubt in the room or whatever other dumb thing that came up.. Because I KNEW. 
I knew it’s God’s will to heal
Today, I’ve been back in California for almost a week and I still believe she will receive that miracle. 
Hear what I’m saying: 
Sometimes, we are going to face things like this. We aren’t going to see the instant miracle. We won’t see the fruit of our labor. We won’t witness a tangible ‘souvenir’ if you will of the cry of our heart. 
IT DOESNT MEAN NOTHING IS HAPPENING. 
It’s impossible to pray and have nothing happen.. Yes, I realize it may LOOK like nothing is happening, but we walk by FAITH not by sight. 😉 (2 Corinthians 5:7) 
I know for a moment it’s tough to swallow.. Trust me, I’ve had more than a handful of times this has happened. I have no other choice or desire than to stand on the truth though: 
“… They will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” (‭Mark‬ ‭16‬:‭18‬ NIV)
The Hebrew word for will means.. WILL.  
It doesn’t mean maybe, sometimes, hopefully, or only if you have enough faith. They WILL get well. 
That’s the truth. That’s a PROMISE. 
I laid my hands on several people to release healing and haven’t seen it with my eyes. But, I know something happened. And if I don’t find out what did til I get to heaven that’s fine. I’m ok with it. I won’t stop praying. 
Don’t stop. 
Keep going for it. 
Contend for the desires of your heart; whether it’s to see a family member come to know Jesus, that miraculous healing you need or someone you love needs.. Whatever it is.. Keep praying. 
Grip your faith. 
Protect your peace. 
Hold onto hope. 
Angels of the Lord hearken after the word of God is released. They take off with lighting speed to make sure something happens when you pray.  (Psalm 103:20) 
Take heart prayer warrior.. Your prayers are heard and motion is taking place. It’s just a matter of time. 😉 
Papa, you are the worthy one. You are everything we have ever needed and will need. Thank you so much for helping us keep our faith and protect our peace in moments where we could think you’re not hearing us or you’re not doing something because your word declares the truth. Thank you for what we do see but I also want to thank you for the unseen.. I know you are good. Thank you.. Thank you, thank you.. Your praise will ever be on our lips. In Jesus name, Amen. 
Loving you, 
Tanisha Poni 💜 

Oh the places you’ll go

Today is my last full 24 hrs in America for the next two weeks.

For I am getting ready to lead (with my husband) a mission trip to Brazil!

I know crazy right? Yesterday as we were getting prayed for as a team -the 7 of us- , it hit me..the severity of the fact that we were actually going on this trip and how it’s so Papa’s design in the kingdom..

Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” Mark 16:15

The epiphany of being chosen for such a time as this threw me in awe.

I suddenly realized how small I was and yet The King of Kings handpicked me to go to Brazil and co-labor with Him to transform it. To love the hell out of Brazilians. OUR Brazilians. INSANE!

Then because of my great childlike mind, the famous words of Dr.Seuss rang loud:

Oh the places you’ll go!

Kid, you’ll move mountains!

The places you go aren’t just for your own benefit to discover the hidden beauty of the world, it’s for the people you’ll meet there and along the way.

How will they hear without a preacher? Beautiful are the feet that bring the good news. -Romans 10:14-15

The world is waiting for YOU.
To be discovered. To be on the radar. To be infiltrated and transformed.

You my darling, carry His presence. The very fragrance of a loving father lingers wherever you go. And don’t get me started on what happens when you open your mouth and begin to proclaim all the goodness of Him.

The faith you posses truly does move mountains.
Yes.. even yours. 

A mustard seed is pretty tiny and that alone is powerful enough to move those mountains. (Matthew 17:20)

So.. where do you want to go?

What mountain is your faith destined to move?

While you’re thinking I’ll share a story: When I graduated high school, the dream of traveling faded because I thought about the money it would take to do so and at that time I wasn’t in a confident enough place to go overseas. Then altogether that dream of experiencing the unknown world drifted away.

UNTIL..

I encountered a different nature of Papa that I hadn’t before.
He delivered me from anxiety, He dusted me off and stood me up. Old wounds disappeared and I felt completely brand new.
Now, I knew The Lord before this encounter. I was about 5 years into my salvation, but I never knew Him like this. I didn’t know how furious and powerful His love is. I didn’t truly know Him as “The Father.” But, I felt it so strongly, and every lost dream I had suddenly arrowed back into my heart. Confidence rose up and I was on my journey of transformation; From old mindsets, unpleasant emotions and negative thoughts.

I traveled that year I had this incredible encounter for the first time overseas. My dream would’ve been fulfilled then but here years later, Papa is still choosing me to GO.

To fulfill the dream He has given me to travel but also the dream of His to see a nation transformed by His perfect love.

I desire to see believers come into this encounter of awe like I did. Of course, to reach those who don’t even know about salvation or about this great love we have in Papa. But when believers come into a brand new awareness of how awesome He truly is, it creates a bigger army to go into the world and release that goodness in greater measure. 

I’ll ask again… WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?

Every resource I have ever needed to travel He provided. I didn’t have to beg or scrounge around my couch for money. It came. And because it happened once, I knew it would happen again and again for as many times as I wanted to go. There was nothing holding me back from going.

The feeling of excitement you may be experiencing to get out there and get your feet dirty for Him is your cue.
It’s possible.

Whether it’s right there in your backyard, two states over, or a completely different far off country… what you carry is needed. The revelation you gain along your walk with Him isn’t just for you.. it’s for them. To be given away, so they can come into a revelation of a loving father.. and so you can have more capacity to receive more goodness!

Oh, the places you’re called to go..

Take the leap beauty I promise it’s worth it.

Papa, I pray the dreams we may have thrown away or allowed to be taken from us by whatever bad circumstance or fear would be restored to us right now. For faith to rise up that you are our provider, and protector. I pray you would stir those of us who have had a dream to travel up and that we would experience visions and encounters with you and where you want to take us. I pray that we would have boldness to pursue it thereafter. I pray we wouldn’t be afraid to show the world how great you truly are. That we wouldn’t cower because of embarrassment or fear of rejection, but we would shout your name and praise! I pray you would be so overflowing within us that just by meeting us your sons and daughters would see you. Help us to be a great sign from you, to a world that’s dying for one.. Thank you for being such a great father, without you we have nothing, we can do nothing.. but with you nothing is impossible. Awaken the dreamers Abba, fill their wings with refreshing hope and renewed strength..in Jesus name amen.

Loving you,
Tanisha Poni 💜 

Ps. Since I will be out of the country focusing on my mission there I will probably be posting about the trip testimonies and stories the next two Monday’s so if you’d like to come with me then stay tuned ! 😊😘